Lights, Camera, Action!

So what have I been up to this week?

Not a lot of cool far out things to be honest because I’ve been working. The place I’ve been working at is weird. Really weird. It’s easy money, but brain numbingly boring because I literally just sit on reception all day waiting for the phone to ring, playing solitaire, pinball, reading or writing. I don’t have access to the internet because if I did then than I’d happily stay there forever doing jack all. However I’m glad it’s over because hopefully next week I’ll get a placement that possibly involves using my brain. Having said that the switchboard is pretty taxing for a youngen. It looks like it was shipped right of the set of Dallas or something. I feel like I need a huge perm and fat shoulder pads just to operate it.And so to the weirdness.I turned up on Tuesday and everything was ok. There’s this pregnant woman who used to work out in the warehouse but can’t go out there at the minute because of the fumes and stuff (they’re in the paint industry) so I chatted to her all day. She’s actually pretty safe. Took me a bit of time to get used to her what with Aussies just being odd and all, but I guess people probably feel that way about me so I have to let it slide. But then on Wednesday we had a major drama because someone “contaminated the café bar” (coffee machine to you and me). Someone went to put water in it and they noticed weird little bits in the water carrier. So I get a call to page the HR manager to come to the canteen because “there’s a serious health and safety issue”. And then there’s all this palaver about it. I went to go get a drink and a little elevenses and they’re closing down the canteen and the 2 cooks (I use that term as loosely as I would use it to talk about dinner ladies) are squabbling around going “I can’t believe someone has done this trying to make it look like we’re poisoning people”, “Oh my god it’s so terrible. I can’t cope with the stress.” And just generally making a huge dramatic to-do. Now I suppose it’s not very nice to think that someone is trying to get you in trouble and what not and screw you over, but one of these women was making me feel ill the way she was flapping about. I kept expecting her to bust out a pipe and start blazing a wrap of crystal meth to relieve the stress of it all. She didn’t have any lips, they were pulled back right over where her teeth should have been, I don’t know if she actually had teeth, but it didn’t look like it. It was like a really old mans mouth had been stuck on her. And every time she spoke there was this string of spittle stretching between the skin that should have been her lips and basically I wasn’t hungry after her flapping around like a skin covered skeleton on smack so I just sidled off back to my desk. Anyways they called the police and three boys in blue (looking like they were life size versions of Fisher Price people) roll up and go investigate. Turns out they were chili seeds. This company is mad about safety and I thought that maybe the police straight off was a bit of overkill, but turns out this stuff happens all the time and so the company has to take it seriously. Basically out in the warehouse they’ve got a bit of a war going on. People vandalizing and stealing other “cliques” stuff, defecating in their shoes (nice), smearing peanut butter all over peoples sandwiches to make it look like shit, which is pretty serious because of anaphylactic shock amongst other really childish, dense behavior. Basically there’s a couple of rude boy wannabes bullying and picking on people. It’s a whole tit for tat mentality. The police seemed pretty bemused by it all and left once the mystery had been solved, but the company is looking into it and the canteen has been closed all week. But it gets better. I rock up yesterday to discover that someone has been at it again. They work with solvents in the warehouse and so have barrier cream to put on. A guy put it on his hands and it started to burn him. That’s right folks, someone put solvent in the barrier cream. In again came the police and everyone’s getting dragged up and interrogated about it. Now that is serious. I’m glad I’m gone. Clearly the majority of warehouse staff they had there were the pure blood descendants of those we shipped off for correctional purposes. Fully mental. They have an onsite psychologist and stuff for the warehouse folks. Mmmm-yeah. Out of there.

Other than working I’ve started up dance classes again. So far I’ve done 3 classes. I did contemporary ballet on Wednesday and hip hop then break last night. It’s nice to be dancing again although I’ve spent so long dancing freestyle and choreographing my own stuff that it’s going to take a fair while for me to get back into the swing of learning someone else’s choreography, especially as I have a tendency to do what feels right for me, which is fine in a free movement style of dance, but no good for contemporary or ballet which is all technique and posture rather than “flow”. Tomorrow I have my first ballet class in about 4 years so that should be interesting. Break was good though. I’ve never studied it before and got my timetable mixed up and ended up in an intermediate class rather than beginners, so it was pretty tough but I loved it. Learnt a few freezes, just got to practice because my “freeze arm” is my left one which is my weaker one so it’s hard to try and hold all my weight on it. After that I was feeling all fidgety and couldn’t deal with being all cooped up in our crappy dorm room and Lauren was at the pub playing pool which I wasn’t interested in so I went out for a run. Ended up getting really, really lost and had to ask a police officer how to get back to Roma Street. She looked at me like I was mad and said, it’s really far. I ended up being gone for over an hour and I’d only intended to do a couple of miles. My body is a bit sore today.

Lauren is still on the job hunt but she’s not so bored now because she’s been hanging out with these guys Adrian and Simon. Simon works at the hostel. We came across Adrian on Wednesday night when I waded in a broke up a fight. Lauren has been bored senseless because I’m at work all day and so she’s got nothing to do and because we’ve not really been socializing with our hostel lot there’s not really anyone to hang out with. But I was hungry so we went to get food and go have a drink to get her some fresh air before she turns into a vamp. Ended up in Subway were there were these two Californian guys ordering. One of them was weirding out Lauren a bit, gave her a funny wave or something. Anyways I get my wrap and go take a seat down the street on a bench. On the bench next to us the weird Californian is trying to start a fight with his mate. Eventually punches begin and I’m shouting at them to stop. There are about 8 guys all watching this occur and no-one does anything. So I thrust my wrap at Lauren, march over and pull them apart shouting at this idiot to get a grip. I was all Mummy Rabbit…“How old are you?” “19” “Well then act like it. Don’t be getting drunk and brawling in the street like you’re some silly little 13 year old.” “But he’s trying to get me in trouble.” “I don’t care he’s your mate, you don’t hit your mates especially not when they’ve just been nice enough to buy you a sandwich.”Ha, when I think about it I must have looked quite silly. I was wearing my new spunky graffiti leggings that look like a child has drawn all over my legs and a little red dress over the top, lecturing this bloke to grow up dressed like a children’s TV presenter. You would have been amused Kel. Anyways they then started discussing the issues and Adrian came over and started talking to us about the perils of drink. The drunken buffoon then stormed off declaring he was “leaving forever” got as far as the other side of the road and came back stopped in the middle of the road halting a bus, before walking into the next lane of traffic where a 4x4 was cruising along at some respectable Aussie speed unable to see him for the bus and I’m screaming “NOOOOO”. The 4x4 breaks and there’s a crunch and somehow this twat doesn’t get smashed. He them meanders over to his sandwich that he’s left on the floor picks it up starts eating it and off the pair trot. So we bonded with Adrian over this guys brush with death and the sharp side of my tongue.We went to a bar, I ended up rather tidily rather quickly, we watched a bunch of Marines do an appalling striptease and I sidled off home as I had to be up for work leaving Lauren with Adrian. He’s coming over for the roast I’m making on Sunday to celebrate moving into our new house. I’m so excited about vegetables I can’t begin to explain to you. Lauren went to the lagoon with him yesterday and then the cinema with Simon then played pool last night. I think we’re going to the cinema tonight. Although it may be that party tonight? This means I won’t be in a fit state for ballet tomorrow, so I’m hoping that the party is on Saturday night, especially as we’ll have a fit roast to cure the hangover. Tom and Lucy are coming for roast too.

Oh I’m so excited!